We are within days of historic change. With Jeremy Corbyn’s government we will not
only see a change to our economic system, but also to the ideology that
accompanies neo-liberal policy. A policy
that has promoted in society the damaging mindset of Chomsky’s often quoted
Vile Maxim, “all for ourselves, nothing for anybody else”.
We have been attacked at our very core to enable this
monster to continue ravaging through our society. Our empathy and compassion has been attacked
and shamed at every turn, because these fundamental human emotions must be
driven out in any society that wishes to deny the vulnerable their human
rights. Our media has manipulated our
tolerance of horror by dehumanising refugees as cockroaches. Our rage toward the injustice that has
ravaged our society under the politeness of austerity has been deceitfully turned
toward immigrants. We have been encouraged
to generalise all Muslims, as terror has been exploited in the pursuit of the
largest transfer of wealth from the poorest to the richest we have ever
seen. Our proud and humane system of
Social Security has been decimated as we were led to believe that those in need
are shameful scroungers and fraudsters.
We have allowed the disabled to be treated with callousness, and benefit
claimants to be humiliated and treated as criminals for using a system that
many have paid into all their lives.
If we fully experienced our most basic human emotions, we
could not accept increasing child poverty and mortality in one of the richest
countries in the world. We would not
tolerate homelessness, attacks on the poor, or the essential need for food
banks. We have become numb in the face
of such cruelty and hopeless in an environment where we have been told it
cannot be any different.
We are social beings and we need to feel a sense of community
and connection with others. Jeremy Corbyn
has tapped into a rising unease as our basic needs are denied, distorted and
suppressed. The groundswell of support we
are seeing is reflective of an urgent, deep and desperate call in all of us to
reclaim our natural freedom of expression, our humanity and our hope.
We are witnessing a resistance not just from the 1% whose
self-interest can be understood however unacceptable that is in a fair society,
but from those people just like you and me who will themselves be harmed by the
continuation of Conservative rule. There
are many reasons for this, media manipulation and the people we are supposed to
rely on being allowed to lie and keep our population economically illiterate
obviously plays a part. Our tendency to
self-sabotage complicated by the often harsh society we grow up in deserves an
essay of its very own. Perhaps the most
sinister reason for me as a therapist is the promotion, acceptance and
tolerance for the psychologically damaged mindset of the Narcissist. This broke through any sense or reason when Donald
Trump was elected, becoming a model for the most powerful position in the free
world.
The prevalence of Psychopaths and Sociopaths in positions of
power is well known, and these disorders are often co-morbid with
Narcissism. The amount of clinically
diagnosable Narcissists in society is difficult to estimate as so few present
for Psychological treatment.
Narcissistic traits though appear to be rampant, and the more these
traits are viewed as not just acceptable, but preferable and even admired in an
intensely unequal and often callous society, the more we are seeing people
happily expressing them. These traits
perfectly compliment the Neo-liberal agenda and a dangerous lack of empathy is
becoming widespread as we are desensitised to and distracted from the pain our
brothers and sisters are experiencing.
As a society we seem to be encouraging the expression of the very worst
parts of human nature.
Craving a particular type of power, the Narcissist must have
control over others to bolster a highly fragile self-esteem. With an Ego built around how the person is
seen and how much power over others they can attain, there is a constant need
to feel superior and to make others feel inferior. The world of the Narcissist is one of War,
where almost every interaction is about win or lose, and every transaction is
about taking advantage of someone or being taken advantage of. Empathy is absent or severely lacking and so
whilst giving to others can be one of the greatest joys to us as connected human
beings, for the Narcissist giving is experienced as a loss, the recipient
viewed as taking advantage if the action is not reciprocated. Insecurity, inferiority and rage can result
from the smallest perceived slight, and the desire to punish or readdress the
balance becomes the strongest force. The
very idea of paying taxes to assist others in society creates deep resistance
because the damaged ego-self is unable to receive normal pleasure from fairness
and justice, and unequipped to deal with the anger resulting from the flawed
perception of persecution from faceless others benefiting at the narcissists
expense.
Lying and manipulating is second nature. Blaming others is the knee jerk reaction of a
personality unable to accept the consequences of their actions. Accountability is a foreign word and apology a
sign of weakness. The Narcissist must be
able to behave in any way they choose regardless of the pain caused to others. At the same time they desperately need to maintain
the facade of perfection so that others do not break the spell by seeing
through their flawed personality, and causing them narcissistic injury. Those who can’t or won’t reflect on their
actions and how they have affected others fail to build the sufficient empathy
and self-awareness required to mature into healthy functioning adults, and this
is in part why you will hear Psychologists refer to Trump as a toddler. Tantrums are common, reasoning is largely
absent and mental fragility is mindblowingly apparent.
The drivers for these behaviours are largely unconscious
processes in the Narcissist. Many of the
abusive and manipulative techniques used (consciously and unconsciously) by Narcissists
to defend their fragile egos and keep their victims in check and under control
are however, being consciously employed by those in power to keep a population
in check. Once in Power, those
who have craved it will do everything possible to maintain the high. Taking control of the mainstream media was an
obvious requirement and we are experiencing the results of this right now. Lying and manipulation has reached such a
peak that politicians do not think they have to hide even the most transparent
lies. We are in a bizarre world beyond
doublespeak and into, as Russell Brand describes it, ‘a hegemonic narrative
singularity’.
Taking on the Neo-liberal establishment in a sea of
manipulated public support was always going to be an almost impossible task,
and the person to do it had to be very special indeed. In Corbyn we have seen the necessary qualities
required not just to raise the groundswell of support and revolt we are seeing,
but also to beat the establishment at their own game. Never have we seen the phrase ‘killing them
with kindness’ acted out with such integrity and success.
True mental strength comes from building an identity around
the very opposite characteristics of the Narcissist. It comes from embracing personal power rather
than power over others. The person in essence
has to demonstrate sufficient wholeness and congruence, the very cornerstones
of mental health. Emotional expression
must be allowed to survive and grow rather than be suppressed. This requires that self-empathy is nurtured,
because we can only demonstrate effective empathy toward others equivalent to
the level of empathy we show to ourselves, for both our weaknesses and
strengths. Core principles have to be
built and nurtured and to do this identity has to be secure and strong. Perhaps the greatest gift we can give to our
children is the freedom to develop into who they are at core, to protect them
as much as possible from the media onslaught and societal shoulds and musts, so
that they can discover who they are and what they believe in, without suppression
or shame. Jeremy Corbyn mentions that he
had parents who did this and it shows.
"My parents were liberal thinkers who believed people should think for themselves and discover themselves and a path for themselves so we were brought up to think for ourselves, read for ourselves, do for ourselves and be ourselves." (8:45 onwards)
As we build and nurture genuine self-acceptance we gain an increasing ability
to look inside. To consider our own actions in relation to others and build
self-awareness that nurtures not only the ability to take accountability for
our behaviour and offer generous and unconditional apologies where necessary, but
also to gain wisdom and maturity. Foresight
and the ability to be on the right side of history time and time again is a
benefit of this process.
A
non-judgemental attitude comes from this kind of acceptance of self and others,
and inclusivity is a natural consequence of this. Jeremy received the Gandhi award for 30
years of upholding Gandhian principles of social justice and non-violence. In his work to bring us peace he has undoubtedly studied the principles
of non-violent communication and his mastery as he bats off attack after attack
whilst maintaining a calm, composed and most importantly kind attitude is more
than impressive for any student of the art.
As a society many of us have been convinced that strength is
in the facade, that harshness and lack of empathy are qualities to be impressed
by. A suit and a clean shaven face does
not define strength or respectability, an articulate person may speak for hours
without saying a single thing. What we
have seen in Corbyn is realness, it’s human, it’s beautifully flawed, it’s kind
and empathic, inclusive and genuine, trustworthy in its’ integrity and dependable
in its’ stability, and at the risk of repeating the ‘strong and stable’ mantra
of the psychologically weak and wobbly, it’s strong.
This Thursday vote for us all, vote for society, vote for
people, vote for our psychological health and emotional freedom.
